what could i tell you

When I was ten I had a conversation with a few of my peers about our fathers. I can't remember what any of them said, but I blurted out "My mom went to a sperm bank!"
The after-school care worker who was washing dishes nearby burst into laughter and said "WHAT?!??"

I was joking of course. And I still make outrageous comments for a laugh.

So working with Trevor again is as fun as it has been. Other than him being heavier than he was when I last worked with him, and a couple of minor-barely noticeable changes in the routine, it's still relatively easy work. I love this job.
This past Saturday I went with his family out to a Father's Day Camp Out at Annette's uncle's farm. We only stayed the day, but it was a fun day indeed.

( Pictures Ahoy! )


I love summer. I hope the rest turns out to be as fun and adventurous as this weekend was. Remind me to tell you the story of how I mooned a vanful of people on our way home.

So I'm going back to Calgary to work with Trevor and Cathy again. I'm not terribly excited, but I have missed them so I guess it won't be that bad. Also, I'm moving in with my mom and sister.
Well, we're moving into a bigger place together. My mom currently lives in a two-bedroom apartment. I've been staying with them since school ended, for no reason too. Actually, it's Lizzie. I love that dog. So being here lets me spend as much time with her as I want. And now we're moving into a bigger place so I can sleep on my bed and not the couch. (Which is the most uncomfortable thing to sleep on btw.) My uncle's been staying at my apartment with Adam for the past few weeks.
Life is pretty boring without Nathan to bug. Also, Stephen needs to not be in England anymore. I'm just sayin'. Speaking of whom, his mom walked into his room while we were having phone sex this morning. Awkward? Yes. Hilarious? Very much so. Ahhh, my love.
I need to make friends. People I can call up and hang out with and who don't move to B.C. or live in England. I would also like them to be female. I just realized that I have a lot of male friends, and while they are pretty amazing, there's nothing like a female to be girly with. Also, Susannah, you should visit me.
I sold my tv and dvd player to Adam for a hundred dollars. I'm hoping I get the money this morning, so that I have money to buy my bus ticket down to Calgary. Otherwise, um, I can't work tonight. And that would be disappointing for all parties involved.

P.S. Crackers and cheese are yummeh.

Hot wings. I LOVE hot wings. For serious.

Hi, I'm Tashina. I have a number of siblings, and was raised by my mother. I enjoy photography, reading, and riding my bike. I have a boyfriend who lives in England, and we have yet to meet. This is the first time I have ever been in love. It's amazing.

I don't really remember all of you on my f-list, how we met, or why we're friends. But please, re-introduce yourself. And I hope we can continue to be friends.

Thanks!

Me: Somebody in the building has children visiting...*grumble*

Adam: ....... You're going to be the crazy old lady who swears at the neighbourhood children from her porch aren't you? Like, "Get the fuck off my lawn, you punks!"

Me: .... Yeah. Probably.


It's not that I don't like kids. I mean, I am at the point in my life where I actually want children. (To which my mom would say "FINALLY!") But, I dunno... some kids irk me. Even ones I'm related to.

A few years ago I was at a Christmas party at church and I was standing in line behind this one family who had a daughter, and they had an Asian nanny with them. A nanny, there, at a family social. Fucking hell people.
Anyway, the parents did nothing as the little girl basically treated her nanny like shit. Talking down to her, hitting her, and being a little twat. I wanted to smack her, but I have this thing about not hitting children. Though I firmly believe she was a spawn of Satan. I have a "Satan's spawn" clause.
I also wanted to slap her parents into action. What the hell kind of values are you teaching your daughter? I thought we were taught to "love one another" in this church. But apparently, this doesn't pertain to the people rich enough to have a sla – sorry – nanny.
Also, I couldn't believe the spawn of Satan was allowed to roam free in a church. I thought we were against that kind of thing people!?!?? See, this is why I broke away from religion.

I have an aunt who has nine children. And none of them listen. Like, seriously. They all have hearing problems or something because when you ask them not to do something they do it anyway. Or vice versa. One time I was visiting, I witnessed one of them toss a newborn puppy in the air. I lost my shit on that kid. They have no respect for anyone or anything apparently. I can only handle visits with them on a yearly basis for twenty minutes.

But I digress. I was visiting at a friends last weekend, and one of her relatives/friends was over and they had a baby girl. She was sweet, and had chubby cheeks, and dark brown hair. And when I held her she cuddled into me and wrapped her hand around my finger. I was a puddle. I want children. I'm not even in the "some day" category anymore. I really do want children. Even if I have the spawn of the devil, or hard-of-hearing children, I want them. I will love them as only I could.
I hope I get a baby who is sweet and has chubby cheeks and dark brown hair though. That would be awesome.

I've been reeaaaaaading! Books! Whole books! Books that aren't textbooks! WWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Though I haven't read anything I haven't read before. I really wanted to re-read my Christopher Moore collection. Have you read his books? I love them. They make me laugh and cry and laugh so much I cry. They're so irreverent and speak truths about life in general. God I missed reading.

When I'm done with Moore, I'm going to start on the books I own that I haven't read yet. Which is a lot. So, hooray for summerrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I was waiting for my bus yesterday when a guy stopped and asked me for $0.50, which I happened to have. He said "You've got a good heart." And I said "Thank you."

Then he asked me where I was from and I told him and he said he knew people from there and began listing off groups of people he knew and then added "We masturbate. Heh heh. Just kidding." Then walked away.

I was stunned.

That had to have been the stupidest ending to a conversation ever. What kind of punchline was that? Why was it funny? Does anyone else get it? 'Splain please.

I have a whitehead on the tip of my nose. It's so big that I'm pretty sure if I ever have to introduce myself to anyone today, all they'll hear is "Hello. My name is Whitehead McGee."
My face has a cleared up a lot. So maybe I'll have semi-decent looking skin for my sister's birthday party tomorrow. Whitehead McGee living on the top of my nose notwithstanding.

This is the last week of the semester. And thank god we only have four finals to write. I already did the first half of the Print and Bindery exam this morning. We had fifteen minutes to show our instructor we knew how to work the cutting machine and the press console, delivery, and feeder. I had a bad night last night and went in on a few hours of sleep and pulled a 60%. Boo-urns. I knew what to do too. I should have at least glanced at the notes before I went in. Anyway, this semester was wierd. Felt kind of slack. So I suppose we'll make up for it in our next year. Ah-hah!
After next year, I have decided to go to the U of A to get a Bachelor of Design degree, and take the Business Marketing Route. (Hey look at me! I have a three-year plan. It feels odd.) I've got plans for a business and I hope to one day see it all come to fruition. I have a lot of grandiose plans, but this one feels right. So, hooray for decisiveness.

I was offered a job with the Aboriginal Health Program at the Alberta Health Services, and then they found out they couldn't hire all the students they wanted so I got the shaft before I was even hired. It SUCKS. I have no money to pay next month's rent, and I need to find a job. At this point I'll do anything. I just need to make some money. I hate being in debt. Going into debt was the stupidest thing ever, and I knew I was doing it too. And now I've avoided it all long enough that I can't get a consolidated loan to at least get some creditors off my back.
I'm actually rather "Meh." about it. For now. Though I think the stress of that and school has caused a major break-out of the face. My face hurts. Hahahahahaha. Man. It sucks. Okay, so I've got a lot to do in the next week or so.

I've been thinking lately, about this here blog. What do I even do with it? I mean, really. I rarely post anything substantial in it. The thought of taking it down has crossed my mind, but then I could also start posting regularly as well. Maybe then it won't seem so overwhelming. I'm the type of person who likes details, I like to describe every little thing about my day. But the thought of typing it all out just seemed daunting.
Then I realized I don't have to do that. So I won't. But I will tell you a funny thing that happened Saturday night.

I went out to karaoke with my sister and we met my mom and her date at the bar, and afterwards they drove me home and my mom gave me a twenty to order a pizza. Amanda (my sister), brought Lizzie over before we went out so I decided to take Lizzie for a walk and we went to the 7-11 close to my house. I tied her up in front of the store and went in and began to figure out what I wanted when I could hear the security guards laughing. One of them said to me as I walked by that there was a hot dog three inches away from Lizzie's reach, and that she was straining against her leash as hard as she could to get to it. But she couldn't, and nobody walking by would help her. I'm sure she cursed them as they laughed at her and then walked away. I paid for my junk food and went out and untied her leash and lead her away from the hot dog on the sidewalk saying "Sorry girl, you don't get the hot dog." Because, ew, food off the sidewalk? In your mouth? You lick my face when you catch me off guard, dog. Nooooooo way.
Then she totally started acting like she didn't want the thing anyway. Whatevs.

I would climb the 7 summits. One of my goals in life is to climb Mt. Everest and Kilimanjaro, but if I could, I would do the rest as well. Totally.

I did an adiml yesterday.

( School, a fire, the mayor's office, and Flat Henry )

( First! )

What's it like being so small?

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!

2- What I create will be just for you.

3- It'll be done this year.

4- You have no clue what it's going to be.

5- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch is that you must repost this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog. The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did win a FAB-U-LOUS homemade gift by me! Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it!

Death. My own, the world's. The thought of it made me cry.

But now, not so much. I'm not afraid of death at all. There isn't a whole lot that scares me these days.

I am afraid of spiders though. *shivers*

I'm pretty sure I should be in bed right now since I have class in four hours. But whatever. I'm done at 11 - I'll come home and sleep. But for the time being, I should clean my room and finish my homework. I hate that I have homework I can only do at school because I don't have the software for it on my computer. I should go to NAIT to see if I can buy it for less than cheap. Or something. We work with Adobe CS3. I've heard not so great things about CS4, so I'm thinking of just getting CS3. Especially since I'm so new at design and graphics. I also wish I had a desktop. I like Macs. I don't mind PCs, I work well with them. But there's something about a Mac... smoother. I don't know. Stephen prefers PCs. Adam and I both won a computer each in a draw, and we still haven't picked them up yet. That's what happens when you have no car and have to drive for two hours to pick them up. But hey, a free computer is a free computer. They're supposed to be nice too. And reconfigured.. or something like that. I can't remember the terminology. I'm pretty tired. Plus, it would be pretty nice to have my MacBook back to myself instead of Adam commandeering it for whatever reason. And having to leave it at home so he can have a computer to work on. I really need to buy bedroom furniture too. I'm still living out of boxes and suitcases. And there's no place to put anything, so my room just gets horrendously messy. It's driving me mad. We had so much fun at my mom's birthday party Saturday night. We got some fun pictures. I should post them. I never post photos here anymore. Except for that last one I did for 2008. But that was the first time in a long time I had did that. It's because I post them on Facebook, and I think like... 90% of my LJ f-list are already on my Facebook list anyway. But I should post some photos. Just to keep the flow going. I also haven't posted any photos on my photo blog since June. I should get on that. The thing is I haven't been taking a lot of photos lately. Someone's always taking my camera. Seriously, these people need to buy their own stuff. Or they can stop moaning about my lack of money. I should tell that to my brother. It's my tv and dvd player we have, it's my camera, it's my computer, they're my dvd's, they're my dishes. I didn't ask to move in with him, he just assumed I wouldn't be able to find a place on my own. Sometimes my brother can be a self-righteous ass. I could just leave him with the rent, and no dishes, and his stupid leather love seat. That's another thing we need, a couch. And one that doesn't make you sweat when you sit on it. Also, it has to be long. I hate sleeping on this thing when Nathan stays over. He's so tall I let him sleep on my bed while I sleep on the couch. I think next time I'll make him sleep on the couch. The pain when you wake up should be divvied up between friends. Or maybe that would just make me a bad hostess. And friend. Or maybe we just don't care about crap like that. Which we don't. Which is why we're friends. Okay I think I'll have a nap. Because I need to lay down and close my eyes if only for an hour or two.

Adam left a couple hours ago to attend a work party. He never goes out. It was wierd.

But he looked so cute in his dress shirt and suit pants, and I was excited to hear of his social participation.

I, on the otherhand, am sitting at home in my underwear, reading a book, and cooking a meal for one. And feeling not a little lonely. Damn. I wish Stephen were here. It'd be nice to have someone to cuddle with on a night like this. Even if all we were doing was reading.
Actually, that'd be my idea of paradise.

So I didn't make any resolutions this year. I've never really been into them anyway. But I am noticing something this year that I didn't have in past years - contentment.
A reason I never bothered with resolutions is because I don't know what I want to do with my life. I mean, I do know that someday I would love to be married and have children, and I would someday love to climb Mt. Everest, and someday I would love to start my own business. I just don't know when these will happen.
I know we're supposed to have goals and make plans, but for some reason, my plans never work out. Not just in the way I would have wanted them to, but not at all. My life is full of surprises. It's full of ups and downs. It's messy and it's complicated. So I may never know when I'll have/accomplish these things.

But for the first time in my life, I'm fine with that. I'm happy.